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Developing a Lasting Love in your Marriage

As we celebrated our 55th wedding anniversary on July 18th this year, we rejoice at God’s blessing and grace on our years together.

1964 AGAPE, PHILEO AND EROS LOVE led us to 2016

We are brother and sister in the Lord, we are best friends and we are lovers.

In the Greek language AGAPE – PHILEO – EROS – are all words for love, yet each displaying a different character of love.


AGAPE – Displays the character of God for God is love. It’s the love that cannot be earned, unconditional love with acceptance and forgiveness.

Agape love is displayed in a marital union of two good forgivers who learn to seek forgiveness and offer forgiveness, accepting the shortcomings in each other. As both spouses move towards God they are also moving closer to each other as His character is formed in them.

It is available to us through the power of the Holy Spirit.

It is the power of being like-spirited as we pray together, minister together, and serves one and other.


PHILEO – Displays the character of friendship. Unlike agape love phileo love has to be earned as it involves trust. It is earned as we learn to trust one another through communicating from the depths of our hearts. Trusting our spouses with our deep wounds, our aspirations, passions, and dreams. Never leave your heart unspoken for it displays your heart to your spouse.

Your spouse should be your most trusted and best friend. A relationship where you laugh together, cry together, play together and support each other's dreams.

It has been said that “It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”. Friedrich Nietzsche

It is the power of being like-minded as you have fun together sharing and supporting each others’ hobbies, passions, and dreams.


EROS – Displays the character of romantic and sexual love. Eros love is like a phileo friendship love caught on fire. Keep the fire lit in your marriage and your life will be filled with warmth.

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” ~ Mignon McLaughlin

The Eros love is the only love that makes your marriage different and unique from any other relationship, that is why it is so important to keep the romance alive. Light the candles, turn on the music and keep that flame burning brightly.

It is the power of physical attraction and the consummation of body, soul, and spirit.


“To keep the fire burning brightly there’s one easy rule: Keep the two logs together, near enough to keep each other warm and far enough apart – about a finger’s breadth – for breathing room. Good fire, good marriage, same rule.” ~Marnie Reed Crowell

A successful marriage needs all three “loves” to hold it together. As we love God with our body, soul, and spirit, likewise we need to love our spouses with our body, soul, and spirit. Now we’re talking unity! In fact, the unity in our marriage is a witness to the world of the mystical union of Christ and His church according to Ephesians 5:23

CHALLENGE: “A marriage is not a noun. It isn’t something you are. It is a verb. It’s the way you love your partner every day with AGAPE, PHILEO, and EROS love.

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